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Police stories

The rise of electric motorbikes
16 February 2022
Olorgesailie random
7 April 2022

By Wakili Timam

So I am at a garage somewhere fixing an air leakage on my front tyre as a result of poor tyre installation when these two cops show up and start making calls to find out whether the bike is Kenyan registered. I am seated at the side and they don't notice me initially. I take pictures of them. Then they approach me and ask me whether that's its number plate. I tell them to take their sweet time to confirm... which they do. Then they act all friendly and ask about the cost of my tyres which I respond truthfully.

Most cops in Kenya are good people. There are a number of opportunistic hyenas amongst them who will jump into any opportunity to make a quick killing out of other people's misery. They don't care about law enforcement... it's all about the bribe money. Abuse of power and shit.

Let's learn to differentiate between good cops and hyenas. We can't afford to taint our relationships with the good ones because of the actions of the hyenas. But we need to ensure that hyenas don't take advantage of our good dealings with the good cops. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday like me.


By Nick Ladu

I see a phone call from my mech. I pick the call and he says the cops are at his garage and need proof of my ownership of the KTM EXC-F they see there. Checking the plates in their system, it's recorded as a TVS 100. I explain to him that it was a clerical error and NTSA assured me they would adjust it before printing my new logbook. Mech calls me again asking for my logbook or else they are threatening to impound the bike🤷🏾‍♂️.

I Tell them to confirm the chassis and engine number match because those are the key features, but they don't hear any of it and insist unless I send a photo of the logbook things won't go too well and to ensure I am sufficiently intimidated they add that they have a tow truck on the way to pick up the bike if I fail to show proof. I search through the mountain of documents in my house and finally find the envelope labelled KTM Logbook. Fortunately/ to my surprise, I had managed to change the bike's make from TVS to read KTM after I purchased it 4 years ago, but somehow, this didn't reflect in the system. I send the photo to the mech and hopefully they won't be calling me again!

I have also been trying to purchase a bike or two recently but everybody I approach either has not transferred ownership from the previous owner or has issues with documentation. My friends, the shortcut may be sweet, but I advice take the long road. Ensure your vehicles are properly registered under your name and in case you change anything make sure to update, you don't know the day or the hour they will come for you. The funny thing is even if the error is on the side of the government, they will place the burden of proof on you 🤔


By Eskimani Webman Gathu

This was a few weeks after I had bought my first motorcycle January 1969

I am riding home Saturday afternoon and feeling good, when I notice one of the feared land rover ya polisi (Landi) following me hadi my home Kariokor Estate.

I stopped. This hiiiyyuuuug (huge) mountain of a man cop alights from the landrover's passenger side, walks towards me holding his walkie talkie in his hand and with a booming voice asks me:


in comparison I am just a kakitu kidogo.

Fortunately my equally huge mountain of a father was nearby, and he boomed back.


I can't exactly remember how that conversation went like, but the cop went back to his Landi. I remember wanting to jump up and hug and kiss my father, but then the mountain was too much of a no nonsense dude and and he would probably have swatted me off like a fly. All the same he was my hero that day.

Cops drove off and I continued to ride for the next five decades. Phew!!

Webman classics.

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By Cahoro Robert

This morning, on my way to work my bike (Beth 180) just stalled in the middle of the road at Globe roundabout surrounded by traffic! I tried restarting it, but nothing! The cars started hooting and gave me way as I pushed my bike to the side of the road.

Upon reaching the pavement, I see a group of 4 looking at me menacingly! They seemed rather too interested or bothered by my predicament. *"Kuja tukushike!"* One of them blurted out! Alaaar! I thought! Plain clothed Cops! 🤦🏽‍♂️ Just my luck! Before I could look at them, one had already yanked the key off the ignition and ordered me off the bike.

I joined their party by the side of the road as one of them sat on my bike; the whole time I was explaining to them that it just stalled and wouldn't start, seeking to be exonerated from whatever crime they intended to arrest me for! None of them was even interested in my insurance or license or well being. 🤦🏽‍♂️The one on the bike tried starting it once more but it failed to start. He had mentioned that I should follow him on foot to Central Police station! The audacity! 🙄 By now I had realized that this cohort was just out to extort and demean me. Thank God the bike refused to start after several attempts, this time!

A lady cop alleged that she had seen me coming from Murang'a rd direction and that she intended to arrest me anyway because I had trespassed on that side road leading from Kahama hotel! The nerve! I had come from Kipande rd, and I stood by that, so she dropped that accusation.

Finally, they decided that they had neither the energy nor the time to push my bike to Central Police station for inexistent accusations and just returned my key and told me to go! Pheeew! 😅

I did exactly that! Just one touch and Beth started. No sooner had it started than I shot off and rode away! Lest they changed their mind!

What a morning!


By Jemedari Wambua

One Saturday afternoon, I leave Maziwa for a ride to Redhill to see my friend Dennis and check a project he's building.

I stop briefly at Two Rivers to call and confirm my location. At Gacharage, I stop to call again. He says, "Keep riding tu. Utaona signs za Tropical Heat." I ride on until I see a Tropical Heat sign and I call him. He says, come to the last sign, take a left off the road. We speak again after a few minutes then I see the last sign. This is where the movie happens.

A Land Rover is blocking the way. As I slow down, two guys jump out of the back in full armour hadi glasses and Arafats around their faces. One stands 3 meters to the right and the other stands right in front of me, switches off the bike, takes the keys and places his rifle on the front of my helmet!! Before I could even fart, he shouts,

"Unatufuata kwa nini?"

I tell him naenda kutembelea beste yangu. He shouts again,

"Umepiga simu nne, umetupita mara kadhaa na umetufuata kutoka pande za Kahawa West!!!
Pigia beste yako simu na uweke loud speaker! Asiposhika, risasi! Akishika aseme hajui unakuja, Risasi!! Haya, Piga simu!!"

I call. Dennis asks, "Kwani umepotea tena!! Kuna billboard ya Tropical Heat inasema turn left!!" I just said, "Ok. Nimeicheki!" as all of us turned to look at the billboard behind the Landrover.

The ninjas threw me the keys, jumped into their vehicle and sped off, mimi nikapark bike kwanza nikaenda kando kukojoa nipunguze "tenshen".

Ride safe.
Vaa helmet and enjoy your week ahead.


By Benjamin W. Muia

Do you stop when a traffic officer pulls you over?

My story At a road block (Embu Kiritiri Kanyonyoo road) i slow down as i approach the barricade when a cop pulls me over and since i have no issues with cops i stop and park on the road side. The cop comes near me and greats me applauding me for being well geared as he opens the metal barricade blocking the road.

The cops flags me off then after engaging gear 1 as i check the side mirrors to join the road I realize the same cop is signaling me again to stop via my side mirrors as he is running towards me.

He alerts me that my bags' zip which was strapped at the rear rack was open and i was almost losing my valuables. I thanked him and bought him a soda coz i would have lost my hard disk drive with all work softwares and much more valuable clients data.

Some cops are just heaven sent.

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